Never Miss a Beat

Expert Advice for Coaches of Young Women

{As seen in SportsEDTV}


Did you know that 70% of all kids quit organized sports by the age of 13* and that girls quit at 6x at the rate of boys?** The stat from the transition from high school to college is even more disheartening. Only 7% of high school athletes move on to play sports in college.**




I wrote How To Coach Girls with Mia Wenjen as a manual to help coaches – both professional and volunteer – to share Alison’s experience as the former Boston College Women’s Varsity Head Coach for more than two decades in coaching young women.

The positive aspects of keeping girls in sports are numerous from positive body image, higher grades, lower rates of pregnancy, and high self-confidence. There are also benefits that help in their careers from learning teamwork and leadership skills to access to networking opportunities.

But what is the secret sauce to keep girls in sports? It’s a simple but elusive one: fun!

What does that mean? How do we translate “fun” into a sport while still making it competitive? It turns out that “fun” has many aspects. Let’s focus on three:

· Make Her Feel Valued

· See Her as a Whole Person

· Help Her Form Connections with Her Teammates

Make Her Feel Valued


Girls tend to doubt their abilities and value. They worry about fitting in. They worry about failure. Girls need a safe and nurturing environment where they can feel comfortable trying new things.

The easiest way to make female athletes feel valued is to connect with them on a personal level. Find a way to praise each and every player during each practice. Girls are very hard on themselves; they don’t necessarily need someone to point out what they are doing wrong all the time.

Instead, find the moments when they are doing something praiseworthy such as trying something new, mastering a skill that they had been working on, or even exhibiting leadership or compassion.

Let each player know that you, the coach, are looking forward to seeing them … at the next practice, the next game, and the next season. Your enthusiasm will help fuel theirs.

See Her as a Whole Person


Your female players want to be seen as a whole person, not just as an athlete with skills. They want you, the coach, to know and appreciate the different aspects of their lives from their other extracurriculars to their sense of humor, to their social relationships.

This takes time and coaches often have that in short supply but it’s the key to earning trust. And this trust is necessary for interpreting the coach. It’s easy for female players to interpret a coaches’ words or actions, even if incorrect or unintentional, as “coach doesn’t like me” or “I’m not coach’s favorite.”

There was a Kindergarten teacher at our elementary school that everyone wanted their child to have. She had the gift of making each of her students feel like they were her favorite. Taking the time to build a relationship with each player tells her that she’s your “favorite.”

Read the rest of this article HERE on SportsEdTV.

Alison Foley is the former Boston College head women’s soccer coach, the winningest coach in BC history, youth National Team scout, and celebrated author of two books; ‘How To Coach Girls’, and ‘The Elusive Full Ride Scholarship’. She currently helps high school athletes with the recruiting process. You can find Alison at or email her

Alison Foley
CEO, Foley Athletic Advising

My newest book just came out! The Elusive Full Ride Scholarship: An Insider\’s Guide.